Do not beat yourself up if you have stumbled in your faith and trust to God. No one can ever be the perfect Christian, we all have our own faults.
You are not alone in your struggles. Simon Peter disobeyed Jesus in Matthew 26 three times even when Jesus predicted this future actions to him.
Can you imagine it? The great Peter, the man that is said to have been the greatest saint in history, Jesus' right hand man, one of the loyalist disciples disobeyed him.
I know many of us may find it hard to fit Him into our lives. There are times when we fall asleep like the three disciples at Gethsemane but remember that everybody sins, everyday we sin. That is the very reason we ask for His forgiveness.
I know sometimes we look at our fellow sisters and think 'She has so much faith in God, why can't I be like that? I'm not a good Christian because I can't put the same amount of trust in Him'
I urge you to not look at the growth of other sisters as a comparison, each person is different. God doesn't have favourites, he loves everyone and everything. No matter how many times you have sinned He will be waiting there patiently to catch you when you fall.
If you feel like you're slipping, talk to a church/ISCF leader, maybe even a fellow SIC member. There are always people there for you.
If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
1 Corinthians 10:12-13
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